"I STARTED DATING OTHER WOMEN FOR THE SEX. IF I EVER MEET A GUY WHO CAN PLEASE ME LIKE THAT, I'LL GO BACK!" Lisa Turner
As a sex therapist and relationship counselor, I was first surprised when both men and women started admitting that they've tried same sex activities just for the pleasure. With guys, it's usually just a discreet event - usually a one-sided hookup where they allow themselves to be fellated. But with women, it's becoming more a couple's relationship scene.
Take Shirley, for instance. She was a shy woman who had gone through two abusive relationships with men, never experiencing much sexual pleasure. One night at a party she met a woman and decided to try it. She claims it's about sex and friendship. She doesn't consider herself a lesbian. "I always fell for guys in school - and still do. I'm still looking," she says.
And I'm meeting other gals forming loose sexual relationships with other women for the orgasms - and nothing else. Most say they just can't find a man who will take the time to please them.
There's Tiffany, who was secretive about coming out at first, but now admits, in her own words, "I've had three boyfriends and I asked them all to lick my clit. They all said they didn't eat pussy, like it was totally disgusting to them. And lesbianism is so hot right now, huh?"
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"So Hot Lesbianism" has it's own rewards and problems, of course.
Yourwellness Magazine, in an article titled Five Health Concerns That Specifically Affect Lesbian & Bisexual Women, said, "All women have certain risks that specifically affect their well being, but certain issues are particularly a cause for concern among women who have sex with women. This isn't just a case of sexual health risks - although that plays a part in your wellness - but lesbian and bisexual women face an increased risk...
The Five Health Concerns were:
1. Sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Some STIs can spread between women, particularly through sexual behaviour involving digital-vaginal and digital-anal contact, and shared penetrative sex toys.
2. Depression. Lesbians and bisexual women might be at higher risk of depression and anxiety, especially young people who identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. This could be due to a number of factors, including social alienation, discrimination, rejection by loved ones, abuse and violence.
3. Substance abuse. There are unique risk factors involved in lesbians and bisexual women experiencing substance abuse, including the stress of passing as a heterosexual or coming out, sexism, discrimination, relying on bars or clubs for socializing and peer support and the trauma of bullying, violence, abuse or self-abuse.
4. Domestic violence: As domestic violence is traditionally depicted as a man abusing a woman, women in a relationship with other women mistakenly don't think it can happen to them.
5. Routine healthcare: Many women who have sex with women find it difficult to discuss their needs and concerns with a doctor, or to find a doctor knowledgeable about lesbian health issues.
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I'm seeing just as many problems in gay and lesbian relations as others. Where people are involved, the same relationship issues arise.
But, as one woman told me, "Don't be fooled. With some, it's really about love. And it's wonderful. But with others, it's all about the sex!"
So what are the most popular sex positions used by women in bed? Here's the Top 5:
5. TOYS. While many women may try strap-ons, double-headed dildoes and other penetrative devices, most lesbians prefer the simple vibrator, concentrating on each other's clitoris. Popular new toys are those that pulse instead of vibrate (simulating the real stimulation from a living partner) and the Ora, "designed as a personal massager that closely simulates the sensations of oral sex for women."
4. COWGIRL. Not performed with toys or much penetration. One woman simply lies on top of the other and they slowly (at first) rub their vaginas together. If one has a large clit, she will take the top position and rub it against her lover's pussy, getting a kind of penetration.
3. MUTUAL MASTURBATION. The lovers lay side by side. Except for kissing and taking turns sucking each others nipples, each fingers her own pussy. The popularity of this position (usually performed by women just entering the same-sex scene) stems from the fact that self-pleasure is the only orgasmic experience they've ever know. At first, it's the only activity that works for them. Gradually, they can expand into other positions.
2. CUNNILINGUS. One woman lays between her lover's legs and concentrates in orally stimulating and satisfying her lover. They take turns.
1. SIXTY-NINE. The most traditional (and favorite) lesbian sex position. Each woman caresses, kisses and licks her partner's pussy until they both have long, intense orgasms. This is the one that most straight women want from their guys.
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TOP LESBIAN POSITIONS FOR SEX: Womens Favorite Sex Positions for Maximum Pleasure
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